Here in Alaska, independence is practically woven into the fabric of our lives. We’re tough, resilient… and sometimes, a little too tough on ourselves. Especially us women.
We Alaskans are proud of our self-reliance. But sometimes, that pride turns into something else: hyper-independence. It’s that excessive need to be self-reliant, to avoid relying on others. For me, it’s perhaps the result of my past experiences. Trust was broken. I was let down. Maybe it was unintentional… but still… it happened.
Hyper-independence can be a trauma response. It's a way to avoid the risk of vulnerability and dependence. But the cost? Burnout. Mistrust. Isolation. I've found myself avoiding help, even when I desperately needed it, and even from those who offered it freely.
Do you recognize these signs? — Avoiding help, even when struggling? Not trusting others to do what they promised to do or to do it well? Perfectionism? Taking on more than you can handle? Feeling social isolation? — These are all warning signs of hyper-independence.
Trauma, emotional neglect, a past belief that others are unreliable… these things can lead to hyper-independence. It's a coping mechanism that might have served a purpose in the past — but it's not healthy.
Overcoming hyper-independence is a journey. It means building trust, communicating openly and… setting boundaries. It means learning to delegate tasks and identifying your support needs. It's about building a strong support network and accepting help. It’s okay to ask for help! It’s okay to need help. In fact, it's brave.
I’m still working on it. I'm still learning to trust, to ask for help, and to accept help. And I’m so grateful for the amazing people in my life who make that easier I'm learning to give back, to offer help to others — and it feels pretty good. After all… part of that Alaska Frontier Spirit… is to help each other.
Thanks for listening. Leave a comment if you want to share your experiences with hyper-independence. And if you liked this video, please give me a thumbs up and subscribe. It means a lot to me.
See you next Sunday here on my channel, Slow Down for Adventure.
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"Why I stopped doing everything by myself."
"How to overcome hyper-independence."
"Alaska women's mental health."
"Dealing with burnout in Alaska."
"Asking for help after trauma."
"The problem with being too independent."
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Music by Pheaha Mohwasa from Pixabay
